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Thursday, 21 January 2010
 yes..this is exactly how i feel now. anger n frustration. n my stomach fucking hurts now. stupid few days of e month. my mood is grumpy,with a hint of extreme vulgarities. with my darn father yakking crap at e side is just fucking irritating. n there goes e outburst from me. ya.thats e usual scenario tt happens everyday. vulgarities flying in e air. after tt survey we had 2 do during play. it just further emphasize how unclose i am with my dad. n i find it so totally unbelievable when i heard ppl saying they r closer to their dads. tt kinda scene is never gonna happen to me. nvm.4get abt tt family scene. e briefing for rml marathon on tues was total waste of time. i just wasted 1 hr..n all i knew was im doing route marshall. tts all.i don even noe which sector im freaking in. i was just darn pissed off during the whole process. n fucking hell missed the bus back home bcos those idiots didnt wanna move in. my mood hasnt really been good lately. n now its just bad. im just confused w everything going on. n i just wan my hols to come soon. yes i noe im gonna survive somehow. but e process aint gonna be all smiles.... mistakened identity jiasylvia i really need that pill the pain is KILLING ME! |
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Monday, 18 January 2010
   ok..thought it was time to finally change the blogskin.cos i was just too bored over the previous one. no wonder i didnt even have e mood to update anything. serached high n low,and found this one which i thought was e best alr. blogskins website is getting rather ridiculous..or is it cos i set too high a standard? anw im just too plain blanked out now to edit e things... would ask a pro to help me do nice nice after e assignments come to an end. i seriously need to learn all abt blog editing.. but too be clear.im not interested in anything else on IT.it just freaks me out. theres just so many things i haven done. not talking in assignments terms. but for cny. i need to get a brand new outfit.new colour contacts,which i haven decided which colour new makeup,..... cny is like a whole big deal for me. even if its only one day. i have to be at my best. so i def have to spare sometime out to shop....!!! i wanna watch JUMP! n i have totally given up on gossip girl.. mistakened identity jiasylvia sorry if this blog is gonna be shiity for some time...bare with it ppl. |
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Friday, 15 January 2010
  yes yes, i noe its alr well into yr 2010... n seriously, i meant to write on the meaningful 31st dec 09, but i found myself just too plain lazy. i noe theres ppl reading my blog n stuff. funny how come u guys still have hope for a rather dead blog. but here i am..reviving yr hopes once in a while. ok...its 2010. im 18....like wtfh.but i wont admit im 18 till tt faithful day comes... tt faithful day that finally makes me legal.. not tt i care abt e clubbing scene. e past yr has been...should i say...rather meaningless,and "unfeeling" for me... if u ask me..how has e past yr been..i gotta say..i cant rmb. it just all happened..before i had e time to react. beginning of e yr.i was still a sec 4 blockhead.reminiscing e days of uniform.n camps filled with frustration, but enjoyment. in the middle, i was still trying to find a place tt i can fit in. trying to make friends.trying to make myself comfortable. frankly speaking.it was hell diff.especially when im tt kinda person tt can dislike some1.. becos of no specific reason.mayb i just don like yr face. even till e end of e year...i wasnt even sure if i was happy, with what i was doing.. with my life.with how i was spending it..... i joined the lifeguards corp. starting off.i wasnt even planning for it.it just happened. it was horrid right from e start.esp tt memorable bonding camp which left mi n mich stranded. i thought 2 myself.hell no!im never gonna bond w these ppl. but fortunately things aint tt bad now. i cant say i noe every1.,cos i seriously don.but at least e situation was so much better after kusu. after going through a touching n rather tearful reflection session in class. it got me thinking. there were many things that i truly miss. n everyday i hope that i can get it back. but i have no idea how.what to do.to get it back. its just this regret right inside me.that still feels so heavy till this day. i hope something would happen this year.to change e situation it might just be a baby step.but it is still a step. we cant all avoid each other forever,can we.? many things happened. nothing to special that made me happy. nothing in particular that i would want to keep in my happy memories but there are definitely a lot of things that i hope i can 4get. or throw away. those memories that would only bring harm.no good. hasnt any1 felt confused abt their self-identity? i do. sometimes i felt like i have changed. like im different from who i used to be. i can feel it.but im not sure if e change is good. or should i be going back to e old me. so all i want this year is simple. i just want to be happy.really happy. live life to the fullest. enjoy myself every minute in any ways possible. start things afresh.on a brand new page. jiasylvia mistakened identity sometimes i wonder. why |
