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Friday, 15 January 2010
  yes yes, i noe its alr well into yr 2010... n seriously, i meant to write on the meaningful 31st dec 09, but i found myself just too plain lazy. i noe theres ppl reading my blog n stuff. funny how come u guys still have hope for a rather dead blog. but here i am..reviving yr hopes once in a while. ok...its 2010. im 18....like wtfh.but i wont admit im 18 till tt faithful day comes... tt faithful day that finally makes me legal.. not tt i care abt e clubbing scene. e past yr has been...should i say...rather meaningless,and "unfeeling" for me... if u ask me..how has e past yr been..i gotta say..i cant rmb. it just all happened..before i had e time to react. beginning of e yr.i was still a sec 4 blockhead.reminiscing e days of uniform.n camps filled with frustration, but enjoyment. in the middle, i was still trying to find a place tt i can fit in. trying to make friends.trying to make myself comfortable. frankly speaking.it was hell diff.especially when im tt kinda person tt can dislike some1.. becos of no specific reason.mayb i just don like yr face. even till e end of e year...i wasnt even sure if i was happy, with what i was doing.. with my life.with how i was spending it..... i joined the lifeguards corp. starting off.i wasnt even planning for it.it just happened. it was horrid right from e start.esp tt memorable bonding camp which left mi n mich stranded. i thought 2 myself.hell no!im never gonna bond w these ppl. but fortunately things aint tt bad now. i cant say i noe every1.,cos i seriously don.but at least e situation was so much better after kusu. after going through a touching n rather tearful reflection session in class. it got me thinking. there were many things that i truly miss. n everyday i hope that i can get it back. but i have no idea how.what to do.to get it back. its just this regret right inside me.that still feels so heavy till this day. i hope something would happen this year.to change e situation it might just be a baby step.but it is still a step. we cant all avoid each other forever,can we.? many things happened. nothing to special that made me happy. nothing in particular that i would want to keep in my happy memories but there are definitely a lot of things that i hope i can 4get. or throw away. those memories that would only bring harm.no good. hasnt any1 felt confused abt their self-identity? i do. sometimes i felt like i have changed. like im different from who i used to be. i can feel it.but im not sure if e change is good. or should i be going back to e old me. so all i want this year is simple. i just want to be happy.really happy. live life to the fullest. enjoy myself every minute in any ways possible. start things afresh.on a brand new page. jiasylvia mistakened identity sometimes i wonder. why |
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❝ A bee is attracted to a prettiest flower;
A girl is attracted to a sweetest boy;
I am attracted to the heartless you. ❞
